I remember hugging my best friend Nancy (names have been changed to prevent public humiliation) as she weeped in my arms over Brad for the third time in two months.
“I thought we were good this time!” she said, wiping her nose on the sleeve of my new sweater.
Nancy and Brad had been an on-again/off-again couple since high school senior year. Since then, we joined a Greek organization in college that put tension on their relationship, which ultimately led to their pre-holiday breakup in the fall of 2016.
There we were sitting on her Lilly Pulitzer floral comforter, her snot soaking up my right arm, when I got a text from my boyfriend, Joey, that said “Hey babe let’s go see the Christmas lights at Brookridge?”
Nancy slowly rose from my shoulder and I could see in her eyes that if I were to leave, she would never forgive me, until our next bar crawl at least.
I told Joey I was in the middle of damage control and Nancy and I proceeded to eat a tub of ice cream and watch scary movies.
Dealing with single friends during the holidays takes a lot of courage and mental strength. Not only do they get sad because they’re alone, they get sad because you aren’t.
Tips for the holidays
1. Misery loves company and single friends during the holidays need lots of it. Be there for them.
Listen to your friend tell you all about what a jerk Brad/Steve/Drew is and agree with them. Don’t disagree with them. You’ll be unfriended, blocked and reported faster than Brad/Steve/Drew got over your friend and under someone else.
2. Take them to do cheesy couple stuff, after you do them with your significant other obviously.
People love looking at Christmas lights, going ice skating and drinking hot chocolate with their significant other during the holidays. Why not do those things with your single friend? Watching them laugh after you fall on your face ice skating will not only make them happy but the pain from the fall will dull your inner pain of dealing with them. It’s a win-win.
3. Two words: Movie nights.
Have lots and lots of movie nights. Force them to watch cliche holiday romance movies and then switch it up and pop in “Saw” or “Insidious.” There’s nothing that says “screw you Brad/Steve/Drew!” like yelling at *insert stupid girl from movie name here* when she inevitably goes into the room where the killer is.
4. Whoever said “time heals all wounds” has obviously never binged on warm freshly baked brownies. Bake with your friend!
Mixing all the ingredients together while jamming out to some old middle school hits, like the infamous “Potential Breakup Song” by Aly and AJ, while wearing pajamas and fuzzy socks is one of the best cures for “single friend-itis.” The aroma of chocolate has been proven to uplift moods and can help whisk you away from the moodiness that your friend has been emitting.
5. Talking with a shrink is so high school. The only therapy that will help this situation is retail therapy.
Not only does this get your sad single friend out of their blanket fort of a bed for the day, it also gives you a chance to get those new heels you’ve been eyeing since payday. Shopping gives you a chance to boost your friend’s self-esteem and complement their new outfits. Now they’re in a good mood and you have a new pair of heels.
Overall, holidays are hard when you’re in a relationship, especially when you have single friends. While you’re frockling under the mistletoe, your single friend is frowning under their bed covers. However, if you just spend some time with them, take them to do fun things, watch movies, bake and spend a little money, they should be in a merry mood in no time.