EL PASO — I’m suffering from a compilation of excitement, regret, anger, laziness, and nostalgia, but I don’t need a shrink. My ailment is called senioritis and all I need to get better is to graduate.
I’m fully aware that I suffer from senioritis, but not because I’m skipping class or getting lower grades. Neither of those have occurred so I’m in the clear in that category, but I’ve just been dragging along these past few months for several reasons.
Excitement: Like every other senior, I am pumped to be able to say, “I’m a college graduate” in a few months. After four years (okay, I lied, 6 years) of all-nighters studying (with Facebook and Netflix study breaks), group projects (where you end up doing 90% of the work and everyone else gets your well-deserved A), and subjecting your body to fast-food so you can even find time to eat (which you eventually learn to enjoy), you deserve that diploma.
Me personally, I love knowing that once I get home from work, I won’t have to worry about checking Blackboard and that I can re-watch Dexter from the beginning in peace, without feeling like I’m not accomplishing anything.
Regret: Wait… hold up… why am I so excited to become a grown-up? What am I going to do AFTER I graduate? I have been a professional only-child my entire 23 years of existence so this also means that I will now have to move out and do things for myself. Maybe I should become a double-major last minute… No, but really, it used to be almost a guarantee to get a job in your field after graduating, but with all of the “confidence” a majority of my professors have instilled on me, getting a job in the journalism field seems slim to none.
I am supposed to get out of college and be an anchor for E! News, or at least that’s what I said when I was 16. Graduate school is an option, but I need job security before I even think about putting that much money into another degree.
Anger: I think my wiriness of going back to school stems from my final months as an undergrad being anything but easy. If I’m not getting a parking ticket from a UTEP parking po-po, who likes to yell at his victims from across the street, I’m in Pete’s Payments making my final payment for my installment plan then receiving a message letting me know I owe $941 more than the $1,250 I’ve already paid. I come to find this is a mistake (luckily), but what gives? I don’t handle anxiety like that well.
Laziness: After spring break, I thought eight weeks was A LOT of time left, but where the heck has time gone? I now need every second I have to finish all my assignments and I feel more behind than ever! I swear, I sometimes want to tell professors when they push back assignment due dates, DON’T DO IT! The extra time is not going to make me work on it any longer than I would have before! Make me stress out now rather than later!
Nostalgia: When I think back at it though, my years as an undergrad have been some of the best years of my life and I’m thankful to UTEP for that. UTEP does do their best to involve their students and it’s really up to us if we partake in everything the university has to offer.
I have learned so much from classmates and professors and these lessons will stick with me. I have been lucky enough to share some of the high moments of an undergrad with my closest friends, meet the love of my life (thank you Dr. Curry for putting him in my group), and gain important experience for my future through the UTEP academic system.
Bottom line, if you feel any of the same ways that I do, you are not alone.